Covid Diaries – This Bed Will Save Another Patient

“There is no worse death than end of hope.” – Pelagius, 4th century AD

There has been a profound sense of betrayal and hopelessness during this pandemic. People don’t just blame the virus, we blame everything- government, hospitals, even our neighbours. Our lives have been transformed irrevocably and everything is difficult to comprehend. Iam not going to write about despair. I saw hope, happiness, sacrifice and much more.

Let me start with an anecdote. This was a time when we had a constant shortage of beds. Often, we ended up referring sick patients out, for want of beds, knowing very well that their survival would have been better with us. We were also having problems discharging elderly patients because of caregiver issues. It was frustrating. An influential individual called me every day for a bed for his father, who was already admitted in another center. There will be discharges every day, but some sick patient will land in the ER and we will shift that patient up. In short, he didn’t get a bed for 4 days. Next day morning, the first message I saw was from this individual saying that his father is dead and we are to blame as we didn’t take him. Though I knew it was farcical, it still hurt me.

As usual there were a couple of recovered dischargeable elderlies. I was probably talking loudly to somebody about his father’s discharge. This elderly gentleman called me. He was in his late 80s and wife in early 80s with children in the US. He had significant pneumonia but was recovering well. His wife had mild pneumonia but both knees were replaced and were very weak despite good lung function. He said, “Doctor, you saved us. I know you guys are working round the clock saving people like us. My children will ask you to keep us for 1 more week. But I know you need beds for other sick patients. I have money in my account. Ask somebody to help us with settling bills. Discharge us, I will go home and look after my wife. Don’t listen to my daughter, she was not here to look after us, only you did. This bed will save another patient.” I have tried to rephrase it word by word; guess got the essence. He was just about able to walk to toilet and granny still required help for ablutions. We were all moved and touched beyond words. They were discharged 3 days subsequently, both walked home.

I don’t need to put in words to explain the amount of courage needed to make such a decision when nobody is around. Human beings crave empathy and encouragement. Though the gentleman said we saved him, he probably inspired us more than anybody else could. He gave us what we all need the most- empathy and encouragement.