“We don’t kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by a long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people often say with a note of approval that the person fought very hard. They think that in a suicide no fight was involved and that the person simply gave up. This is quite wrong.”
- Sally Brampton
People who die by suicide don’t want to end their lives; they want to end their pain. Most are deeply conflicted. They wish there was an alternative to suicide, but they can’t see one.
Suicide is a major public health concern and a leading cause of preventable death worldwide. The impact on the family and community is immeasurable. Empowering ourselves to identify, assess and refer is an important step in suicide prevention. Suicide prevention starts with recognizing the warning signs.
We need to work through the suicidal feelings and focus on strength and ambivalence. The more openly a person talks, the less his or her turmoil. The person is also likely to become more reflective.
Asking at risk individuals does not plant the idea of suicide. Instead it actually gives them the opportunity to express their feelings. When a person talks to you, this is how you can respond to be supportive:
Often, we might not know what to say. In such cases, the following conversation starters can be helpful:
The following empathetic statements also help:
Many difficult emotions may surface while trying to help someone who is suicidal. So, don’t forget to take care of yourself. To help a suicidal person:
“You say you are depressed. All I see is resilience. You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn’t mean you are defective. It just means you are human.”
- David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
Dr. Sujatha Velmurugan
Consultant Psychiatrist
Kauvery Hospital, Chennai
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