Introduction
When a child is born, parents are born too. Parents grow and their parenting skills improve as the child grows. Every parent will find their own style to discipline and nurture their child, which, according to them, is the right way to do. But we don’t know whether it is the right approach for our kids.
Parenting styles differ based on the personality of the parents, family situations, their childhood life, education, work schedules and commitment to the family. There are four main types of parenting styles. Let’s see the pros and cons of each type.
Authoritarian Parenting
In this type, parents engage in one-way communication. They form strict rules and regulations that the child has to follow without questioning or arguing with parents. These rules will be set without explanation to the kids. Strict punishments will be given if the rules are not followed. They expect high standards from the children. These parents will be less nurturing.
Children will be well-behaved and obedient. Most of them are goal-oriented, disciplined, and highly functioning.
On one hand, a few children tend to be more aggressive and rebellious as they grow older. On the other hand, a few children will become shy, have low confidence levels and face difficulty while making their own decisions.
Authoritative Parenting
In this type, parents set clear rules and regulations for disciplining and nurturing the child, but they explain the reason behind their disciplinary actions to the kids. The communication is two-way here. Children can give input in setting the rules and healthy negotiations will happen between them. Punishments and rewards are used to modify the behaviour. This parenting style requires patience and sincere efforts in bringing a change.
Children become more confident, responsible and self-regulated. They are more independent, goal-oriented and perform well in their tasks. These children handle negative emotions in a better manner, leading to an improved social life.
Permissive Parenting
In this style, parents set very few rules and maintain open communication, allowing their kids to do things independently. Parents will have minimal expectations of the child. This lack of expectation usually leads to fewer disciplinary actions and a friend-like approach.
These children will have good self-esteem, decision-making ability and good social skills. Children will have more freedom, and they themselves will make decisions about their study hours, screen time and bedtime, which most of the time can lead to unhealthy practices. Sometimes, these kids tend to be impulsive, over-demanding and will have problems with self-regulation.
For example, when strict rules are not set in eating habits, it may lead to munch eating or binge eating and there is a risk of obesity and other health issues.
Uninvolved Parenting
In this type of parenting, as the name suggests, parents are not involved much in their children’s lives; they just provide their basic needs and remain emotionally detached. They have limited communication with the child, without many expectations. They will not have any disciplinary rules and regulations.
Children of uninvolved parents have a high degree of freedom. They often have good resilience capacity and are more self-sufficient. Such skills are developed because of the necessity to survive.
These children often struggle with emotional regulation and will have difficulty in maintaining a good social life. They often have poor and faulty coping strategies and even face academic difficulties.
Tips for Parenting During Exam Results
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Positive Communication:
Encourage the child to discuss their fears and concerns related to their exam results openly.
Allow the children to share their emotions, whether they are positive or negative, without judging them and interrupting in between.
Help your children understand that exams are just a stepping stone in their path and not the only measure of their value.
Remind them that their success in life is not determined by just exam results.
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Avoid Comparisons
Don’t compare your child’s results to those of their peers and make comments.
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Future Goal Setting
Help your children explore their interests and set new goals for their future.
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Hobbies and Extracurricular Activities
Promote extra-curricular activities that bring your children happiness and boost their self-confidence.
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Self-Care
Encourage your child to practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing, yoga, meditation, etc.
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Be Understanding
Recognise that your child requires more time to process emotions. You need to be patient and empathetic. Support them in the way you can.
If the child is emotionally disturbed, don’t leave the child alone. Be vigilant and protective.
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Seek Professional Help
If your child is struggling with excessive stress or anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts, immediately consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional.
Conclusion
The style of parenting has a great influence on a child’s personality development. So, this awareness and knowledge about different styles and their impact on child development will make us improve our parenting skills and take corrective measures if needed. Parenting is not an easy task or a one-time application. Parenting continues till children become independent in all domains of their lives. In our Indian families, even after that, it continues.
My professor used to say, “A child is the biopsy of a family.” Yes, for the result to be good and positive, we need to put in a lot of sincere effort in disciplining, nurturing and understanding the child. It is not just the style of parenting; it is much more than that.
Whenever there is a difficult situation that you don’t know how to manage, therapists/mental health professionals are always available to support you.
Stop stigmatising and get help.
Dr Kurinji G R
Consultant Psychiatrist
Kauvery Hospital, Chennai
